Testosterone Junkie On Cars – Testosterone junkYARD

Testosterone Junkie On Cars – Testosterone junkYARD


You may be wondering why on earth I have now started writing about cars. However, anyone who knows me personally will fully understand.

I am obsessed by cars and I love nothing more than seeking out a bargain or a car that is slightly odd and buying it.

I usually then end up running it for a couple of months before trading it in, usually selling it for the same price I bought it for or in most cases making a profit.

This has landed me sometimes with trying to find space for 5 or more cars in any one time, this is actually quite stressful. It is also quite stressful when you have money tied up in numerous vehicles that could essentially die at anytime rendering them nothing more than scrap value.

Not to mention wondering if anyone else would even bother entertaining me by buying it from me.


This is not to say I haven’t had any howlers along the way, either.

My man math calculations have me in profit to this date, however, ignorance is a thing of beauty and I have never really kept a log.

I just know I seem to have gained more than lost when selling, so that is enough for me to continue.

However, there is a way to play this game, cars are a depreciating asset, very much so in the UK. Cars that cost over £50000 merely ten years prior can be found in good, safe and usable condition for £1000.

Once cars hit the bottom of the market, the beauty is that unless they suffer from catastrophic failure, their value is unlikely to fall any further and in some case, you can get the price depending just on how much someone wants the car.

In the UK fuel is taxed highly and it can become a real bugbear for anyone who commutes long distances. Rail fares are also expensive, in fact, unless you live within a short commuting distance to where you work, you can find yourself all consumed by high costs.

This has spawned a micro economy of certain cars amongst the cost conscious savvy and knowledgeable motorist. These sort of cars rarely become available particularly cheap when compared to their contemporaries.

These were the cars that at one point I was constantly trying to source, when I had one, with the bare minimum of maintenance and a couple of months later I would then sell it with an extra few thousand miles on the clock and trade it in.

This has seen me amass loads of cars in the past, something that has slowed down significantly since moving much closer to work, however, it hasn’t stopped me closely following a 1995 Toyota Carina E that is on eBay for a couple hundred quid.

Following different car forums spurned me on to write about every car I have owned to share my experiences because there maybe just one or two others out there that may appreciate the continued journey of car roulette.


So far I have only really had one catastrophic failure with a car, and ironically this was when I strayed above the usual £1000 budget. In fact, the cars that have been above £1000 are the ones that have thrown up the most trouble.

I can confidently say that the only real loss of a car and whereby I didn’t make a profit was one that I crashed after smashing through a fence which rendered the car unusable thereafter – this cost £375.

I lost another car when it was stolen, the police found this and wanted a recovery fee from the compound which was more than the car was worth so I left them with it.

It certainly isn’t and wasn’t uncommon that I would buy cars for less than £500 and not suffer any failures or maintenance issues before they were sold on, and this was purely from boredom and wanting to try another car, not because I thought it was on its last legs.

The market

The UK car market is an exciting place, especially for the man or woman that wants to take advantage of the plentiful cheap and reliable motors out there.

Cheap PCP and leasing deals, expensive repair costs and essentially a large case of vanity means people want new and fashionable.

New cars mean all mechanical manufacturer failures are covered by a warranty and cheap leasing means people can buy cars otherwise normally out of reach, this makes them look richer and impressive to their peers.

This means once cars fall out of the initially three years their values diminish rapidly because they are off loaded.

The next in line who tend to want a decent and newish car with much of the value already wiped off and any niggles usually sorted get those from the dealers which came in after the lease or PCP deal finished.

These are good deals for people who are a bit more conscious and want a modern car, and lets face it, no modern car is crap, not really.

Okay, some maybe better than others, some may have a more desirable badge and softer leather or more USB ports but really, a crap car that cannot safely and reliably while being fairly quick, comfortable and economical doesn’t exist in the UK or European market anymore.

After this bunch have people have had their part to play these cars technically become left to values not much more if not less than the average monthly wage and then as they get older still they can be picked up for in some cases as much as a night out on the piss.

This is where I come in, constantly searching eBay for the bargains, the undesirable but usable and reliable cars that can be had for a pittance and sold on usually for no loss whatsoever, and in many cases a profit.

The profit, I have founds in most cases purely comes from marketing.

I have picked up super cheap cars just because the seller provides little to no detail of the car or they misspell the manufacturer.

In this day and age you can see and MOT history online, it tells you the miles recorded per each annual safety test and shows what it failed on and what would needed to have been repaired to pass.

This history can be a great insight in to the maintenance of the car and how it was treated and cared for.


The tools are out there to pick up utter bargains, and to make a profit. By simply writing a better and more informative advert with good pictures of a clean car can add hundreds of pounds to the resale.

A valet can cost as little at £12, a oil and filter change around £40 and some good photos with a bit of time documenting the maintenance history can have you quids in, even after you have put a good few thousand of miles on the car yourself.

As long as you are not too style and brand conscious you can find some amazing cars in pristine condition that have completely bottomed out in the market.

This is free motoring, and every time I have stepped out of the £1000 budget in to something of a higher value has seen me rapidly return chasing then next hit…

This then, will be my attempt to document each car I have bought in the best chronological order that I can remember and include the car, spec, purchase price, sold price and what the car was like to own and drive under my tenure.

A few things to note:

  • petrol cars can be had cheaper than diesel this is because fuel costs with petrol are generally more expensive
  • due to fuel costs, big engines in cars are cheaper to buy than smaller more economical cars
  • small cars tend to hold their value well as these are suitable for new drivers who require some thing cheap to insure and run while not being so powerful they will kill every living creature in a 50 mile radius
  • older diesel cars that are slower, more polluting and more noisy are now in demand. This is because they are reliable.
  • larger displacement and lower power also help ensure the engine is not stressed and hopefully more durable
  • simple normally aspirated diesel engines found in older Peugeot, Citroen, VW’s and Rovers are bullet proof and last forever with little maintenance required and constantly return great mpg, these are great cars to just sit in going up and down the motorway for miles on end costing dear little to run.
  • more premium brands can actually be cheaper to buy than their contemporaries that are of a lesser brand: people are scared of higher maintenance costs and repair bills on premium marques and tend to stay clear of them opting for cars like fords which in turn ramps up the prices of those. realistically at this end of the market all cars must be seen as and you must be prepared to just scrap them if something goes wrong as the repair cost will outweigh the value unless its just consumables such as tires and batteries.
  • vans command a higher price than cars. Even the most beat up van has a value to someone whereas a cheap, undesirable brand car seems not to tick as many boxes.

With these little tips in mind, let’s just see what the fuck I have bought over the years…


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Ben BA(Hons), PGCert

Ben established this site to be a free resource in 2015. Since then it has gained over half a million visits. He has always been interested in sport and he started playing rugby at the age of 6 represented his town, county and school. Ben also enjoys cycling, has started skiing and is in the Army Reserve representing his Regiment as part of the 150 Regimental Shooting Team. He holds a bachelor's and postgraduate degree in sport exercise & nutrition.

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